In One Word

Chaos!! One word that describes most of my days. Chaos, a total lack of organization or order. With a very active two year old and 4 month old, I feel like my life is in complete chaos. My house is a mess most days with toy trucks in random places, building blocks in different rooms, bibs on the couch, books all over the place and play-Doh stuck in the rug. You know what that tells me? I have a home that is filled with love and children. A good friend of mine always says "This to shall pass" and she's right, this is such a short time in life and one day, I will miss it. Think about this, if you were to leave this world today, would it matter that you had dishes in the sink or would it matter that you shared time playing and teaching your children? I know I would rather leave this world doing the latter. Today, I've stayed home 1. Because I haven't felt great (mother nature time) and 2. I just wanted to play with my boys. Hunter is at a fun age and is such a little sponge and sometimes you just need mommy to play, so we did just that. Colton is 4 months and already rolling over and for the first time he played in the jump-a-roo ! It was so fun to watch and I found myself reminiscing of the days Hunter played in the same jump-a-roo. WOW! Was that really almost two years ago? So, I realized I need to slow down and savor these moments, because it really will pass and I really will miss it. Every age comes with its own set of memories and fun times, but I want to experience them all to the fullest. As I walked down the steps from laying my oldest down for a nap, I looked at the bridge we made out of legos for the hot wheels, the jump-a-roo my youngest played in today and the trucks all over the couch. I thought to myself, today has been a fun day !! I wasn't worried that the house was a mess, I was happy that we had fun together. Slow down because life really does fly by and you don't want to miss it. What word best describes your days?

Almost a year later

WOW, Talk about life getting away from you. It has been almost a year since my first post. I guess time really does fly when you are having fun ! My life has changed drastically since last August. I am now a Mommy of 2 boys. Hunter the oldest just turned two and Colton the youngest just turned 11weeks. The past couple months have felt like a whirl wind. Seriously. I was scheduled to have Colton on June 1, but he decided he was ready to come out and I went into labor May 26 and he was born ! He weighed a whooping 8lbs.....much bigger than his brother. I thank the LORD for healthy boys. I was able to go home after two days since I had a prior C-section and was doing so well. I was terrified of having another C-section and post pregnancy of what it would be like to be a mom of two (under the age of two). I stressed about my blood pressure because I had issues after Hunter and I was scared it would happen again. Everyday I obsessed, but I had to give it to the Lord and let it go, which was hard, but I was finally able to. With all the stress of brining a new baby home, trying to make a two year old understand what was going on and why mommy couldn't pick him up was challenging for all of us THEN on top of all the crazy, I had to go back into the hospital to have my appendix taken out after only 13 days post C-section. Yeah, I know poor me and how crazy! I've heard it all. However, I believe it was a blessing in disguise. My mother in law was still here and was able to stay a few extra days to help our family keep it together. Plus, we have fabulous neighbors/friends and Church members bring us meals, which was the biggest blessing. I remember crying thinking to myself, WHY and WILL I EVER FEEL NORMAL? Hormones can do crazy things to your body and if you don't believe that than you are CRAZY. Almost three months later and things are going well. I am grateful and reminded everyday that my husband and our boys are my greatest blessing on this earth. I read my post from last year and I was reminded of the struggles we had to go through in order to get to where we are now. This verse Romans 8:25-28 is a great reminder

²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)

I did have hope. Hope that I would be a mommy. I waited patiently (although times I wasn't so patient) and in his time he blessed us with a child, now two. To my surprise I really didn't know what I was praying for because I got way more. I asked God to bless us with a child, but he did intercede and also gave me patience, understanding, a love I never knew or understood, made me a better wife, better follower and better person. I love my boys and so grateful to be on this path of parenthood. I hope if you are reading this you are given hope as well. Whether the Lord blesses you to conceive, ability to adopt, foster or whatever the case may be. Trust in him and have hope that he will work good if you love him and follow him.